My life

Perspective

2011-10-13T14:01:00.000-07:00

My ways of thinking have changed a lot, recently. I'm seeing things and situations in my life in a whole new light.

I've been challenged a lot in the way I view situations. We tend to blame so much on coincidence and forget that God has a purpose in every moment in our life. Sure, sometimes things just happen, but what God does with those things is amazing. Have you ever really thought about that? You take the time to go talk to the awkward kid in your class one day, and later you find out that they were thinking of hurting themselves because they feel alone and your words helped them. Or, maybe your being late for work saved you from being in an accident. I’m definitely being challenged to be more aware and to see every moment as an opportunity.

Another area that God has challenged me in is patience and trust. I always worry about everything, which ends up stressing me out to the extreme. I worry that I’m not doing what God wants me to do, that I’m going to end up in the wrong place. I even worry about who would want to marry me and even if that will happen one day. The message that God has been trying to tell me is that it’s okay.

It’s all going to be okay, every part of my life is going to be okay. Better than okay, it’s going to be better than I can ever imagine! God has a plan to use me right where I am. And as long as I’m pursuing Him, He’s going to get me where I need to go. Even if I mess up, He will still use that for his glory. He will provide for me in His timing. I don’t have to focus on “where” and “when”. I need only to focus on “Who” I am in Christ and What I’m becoming. He’ll handle the rest. And how amazing is it to know that our whole life has been perfectly planned? That we never have to worry because the creator is already setting that plan in motion and is going to make sure it happens. Why would I want to mess that up with my selfish needs and wants? How much greater is God’s plan. I’m pretty much awestruck at how much God really does take care of me. I’m beginning to see Him in so much more.

Like Pastor Brad said in his life lesson, “God’s will is a journey.” I am beyond excited about this journey and cannot wait to see what’s next.

Day 2

2011-07-18T10:29:00.000-07:00

In the journal, the story of the prodigal son is compared to God and people that are lost. We often think on the suffering of the people who are lost, but what about God's suffering? This quote put it in perspective for me:

"When the devil has kidnapped a child of God, it is God who hurts the deepest, who suffers most."

That was challenging for me. Imagine if someone you loved more than anything was missing; wouldn't you want anyone who knew to be looking for them? That's what God wants from us -- we can't rest until His children are found. I couldn't help but think of all the people in my own family who are lost. If I'm going to be committed to God, I have to be committed to finding His children.

"God, I'm sorry for not looking
to bring your children back to
you. I'm committed to doing
more. I pray that your heart
would become my heart. Help
me to be open to see opportunities
and give me the courage to take
them." Amen.

Day 1

2011-07-13T11:15:00.001-07:00

John 15:4-5,16: "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without me you can do nothing... You did not choose me, but I chose and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you."

This chapter is about abiding in Jesus and spending extravagant time with him daily. Every person's quiet time is different; we have the same essential elements, but we all do them in our own way. I've never been one to spend a large amount of time doing these things, just as long as I did them daily. But one of the challenges the journal offers is to tithe your time during the 30 days of the journal. That's roughly 2 1/2 hours every day.

It can sound a bit overwhelming, but when you consider the things you clog your day with like T.V., Facebook, etc, it makes it easier to see how 2 1/2 hours isn't too much to ask. What do you really get from watching that movie or from sitting at the computer playing games? You know the saying "Could've had a V8?" Well, how about "Could've prayed!", or "Could've read the Bible!"

Then, when you start spending extravagant time with Jesus you want to do it more. That time becomes special. I just spent an hour only on reading the Bible. I've never done that before(It's a pretty neat, if I must say so)! I can't wait to see what I'll discover by spending extravagant time with Jesus every day.

Journey

2011-07-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

In these past few weeks my life has taken a turn for the completely unexpected. Beginning with the final night at the Deepening with learning about the newly discovered people group in Peru, and then being confirmed by learning about the unreached people groups in East Africa, I have felt a call to missions.

I know, right? Who would've thought? Me? I'm one who has had my life planned since I was a little girl, knowing exactly what I wanted to be, how to some-what get there, and planned to live happily in Arkansas for the rest of my life. Let's just say I've been a bit emotionally overwhelmed lately.

It's a scary feeling knowing that my life is about to completely change. But, it's still satisfying, all the same. I mean, who's plan would I rather follow? My comfortable, flawed plan or God's fail-proof plan that calls me to do more than I could ever imagine?

In saying this, I have a lot of heart and life work that needs to be done. So, with the help of P. Randy and P. Rod I am starting a journey and want you to be a part. I'm beginning the "Live Dead" journal and it isn't easy. So, I plan on blogging my thoughts and some prayers throughout and would love to hear your thoughts as well.

Bottom Line

2009-11-16T16:27:00.000-08:00

"When God invites us into His story, assigning us various roles that are seemingly too big for us to carry out, His affirmation is the same -- I will be with you. It's as if He was saying...'Don't worry about who you are, just focus on the reality that I'm going, too. And if I go with you, trust me, everything's going to work out fine.'...

Bottom Line: God and anybody else is an overwhelmingly powerful team"

-Louie Giglio. "i am not but i know I AM"

As I've been reading this book, different parts have really stood out to me. I think this part is my favorite because for me, it paints such a perfect picture of how close God really is.

About a month ago, I had some friend issues and ended up with my feelings hurt. Even though I didn't feel like I was being told by God to do some task I felt I couldn't handle, this quote from the book just reminded me of God's closeness and involvement in my life. He's there -- constantly surrounding me with love and acceptance, letting me know that I can lean on Him and His strength to get me through. God is all I need to face the tough things in life.

Christmas

2008-12-14T12:03:00.000-08:00

"I celebrate the day
That you were born to die
So one day I could pray for you to save my life.

To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me..

The first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my savior
The first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change the world forever?"

So songs make me think a lot..and with my habit of over-analyzing just about everything, they really make me think..maybe a bit too much. I was thinking about how Jesus was born to be our savior. And He's God, too. So when he was a little kid, did Jesus grow up knowing that He was going to die one day? And if so, that seems kind of like it would be a sad childhood..but then again I think, "He is God, and He wants us to be with Him. So, he knew why He had to die." But then, that's an interesting way of doing things..and then I remember that with the old covenant, something that was completely perfect had to be sacrificed.

The whole trinity thing is interesting to me, too. God knows everything, Jesus is His son, and the holy spirit lives in us to help us do the right thing. But yet they are one? Wow-that's all I have to say. So was it God coming himself to us? In the form of a human? Then it was God speaking to us. But then, He is pleased with His son..who is himself. Whoa.

And what about Mary? Did she know that the son she birthed was going to be killed for her and the rest of the world including the people who killed and hated him? I don't think I would ever let my son out of my sight if I knew that was going to happen.

All I know is that Jesus cane and died to save my life. He changed the world and left us the mission to finish what he started. Christmas is an interesting thing..and hard to understand sometimes. To think that God came to us in a baby, but He was still in heaven because it was the son part of the trinity. Then He grew up just like we do. Learning about himself almost since he was God, and then changed the world by telling us the right way to live and then asking us to follow Him. Then rising from the dead to ask us to tell others about Him. And taught that all we have to do is believe in Him and ask Him to forgive our sins so we could live in paradise with Him forever...AMAZING!

So thank God for His Marvelous love

2008-09-17T06:15:00.000-07:00

[[Just some things I liked in these verses]]

Psalm 107:
"Oh thank God-He's so good!..All of you set free tell the world!"
-If God has done so much and even set you free, why wouldn't you want to tell the world about his love so others can experience it, too? That's what we are commanded to do-to love others and tell them about Christ.

4-9:
"Then in your desperate condition, you called out to God. He got you out in the nick of time; so thank God for His marvelous love, for his miracle mercy to the children he loves.."
-All we have to do is say His name and he comes running to us-right when we need him most. He's there to love us, even though we don't deserve it. He will never stop loving us. We're never alone.

10-22:
"He led you out of your dark, dark cell...so thank God for his marvelous love, for his miracle mercy to the children He loves."
-Even in the darkest times, God hasn't forgotten us. His love is always there. Even if we don't know it. He's there guiding us back to Him-out of the cell. We're his children that He loves. He's merciful and wants to help us-just like a father with a hurt child. No matter what we've done, He's there to take care of us.

23-32:
"Then you called out to God in your desperate condition; he got you out in the nick of time..He led you safely back to harbor. So thank God for His marvelous Love, for His miracle mercy to the children He loves. Lift high your praises when the people assemble, shout Hallelujah when the elders meet."
-God is there. He sees us out in the middle of the sea with no direction, but guides us and brings us back to Him. And what about other Christians? Shouldn't we celebrate what God's done for them, too?We were made to worship Him together. We have to thank God for them-even the elders. They're God's children just as much as we are. You're never too old to come to Christ.

33-41:
"He blessed them and they prospered greatly;... Good people see this and are glad; bad people are speechless, stopped in their tracks. If you are really wise, you'll think this over- it's time you appreciated God's deep love."
-How often do we take for granted what God has given us? I mean, we are alive for one, have an amazing church that loves and gives all people the chance to worship and be involved in ministry. We live in the best country in the world-we're actually allowed to worship freely and get a free education. Even though we don't always like them, He's given us all amazing families and uses them to teach us things we need to know in life. Sometimes just taking a look outside gives you a reason to be appreciative. He loves us so much He wanted us just to have something beautiful to look at and remember him by- to show His power and love to us every day.

"Amazing love. Now, what else shall I need?
And I found myself in you"- Found by Hillsong United.

Only the Best

2008-08-04T18:47:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 55:2 "Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best, fill yourself with only the finest.."

School is getting really close. That makes me kind of sad. It takes me away from being around people who mean the most to me and it can even take me away from church sometimes.

Being away from those people of influence is going to be hard. I've really grown a lot this summer and developed meaningful relationships with some amazing people at First Assembly. They're the ones who hold me up and keep me accountable. That being said, I have to work harder to fill myself with only the best- not settling for mediocrity with Christ or in any part of my life but giving my all.

School gives so many temptations to lie, slack off, gossip, and even say the wrong things. I can't let it hold me back. I have to let my light shine; be genuine and let others see why I'm so different. I have to let people know that life is so much better with Jesus.

So that's my challenge for this school year: Be me and show Jesus. more than I have before. I hope you join me in the effort.

Friend

2008-07-18T09:48:00.000-07:00

"Walk with me, talk with me, hold my hand. Be my God, be my closest friend..."-Lifting my Hands

Isaiah 41:9-10:
"You're my servant, serving on my side. I've picked you. I haven't dropped you. Don't panic. I', with you. There's no need to fear for I'm your God. I'll give you strength..."

"You truly are my king, and I will serve your throne to worship you alone..."- Dear Jesus

I think the message God was trying to get across to me today was that I need to make him my closest friend. I need to run to him and let him help me; know that he's with me. I need to let him walk with me. And since serving is something I love to do, I need to serve on his side-using my servant hood as worship to him. Knowing that he's called me to do something great for him.

I love when God speaks like that. I read the passage in Isaiah last night and as I listened to those songs today, I made the connection. I opened my bible and reread the passage and I knew what I wanted to share. Isn't God awesome?

Assignment

2008-07-07T11:12:00.000-07:00

This was actually something I wrote to share with the Worship team on Wednesday, but I thought I would put it on here, too:

Psalms 32:1-2,11
"1.Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be-you get a fresh start. your slate's wiped clean.2.Count yourself lucky-God holds nothing against you and you hold nothing back from Him..11.Celebrate God. Sing together-everyone! All you honest hearts raise the roof."

Psalms33:1
"Good people, cheer God! Right-living people sound best when praising."

Because of what he did- The fact that He does wipe my slate clean, He does give me a fresh start, and He holds nothing against me, I need to hold nothing back from Him. I need to always celebrate him and sing his praises. I need to go into worship with an honest heart. If I count myself as a right-living person I need to praise because that's what I do best.

So everything I do, and every time I'm in a corporate setting of worship, I need to enjoy what God is doing and what he's done for me and celebrate together with those who have experienced God's blessings and love. I need to praise God for who he is; not just because I'm on a team and I'm supposed to do.

Need

2008-06-21T07:36:00.000-07:00

I bought a new CD last week and these are some of my favorite songs:

Crazy - Jonathan Stockstill

I'll never bring to you something that doesn't cost me
When I worship it will be the best I can bring...
When I dance for you I'll always dance a crazy dance
My life was nothing and you gave me a second chance
I'll go crazy for you

The thing you want from me is just to give a crazy praise
Abandoned happiness and joy beyond my wildest dreams
I'll jump and scream and glorify your awesome name..
The sky will break with noise and dump on us a second rain
I'll go crazy for you!

I Need You-Jonathan Stockstill
Oh Lord, my life I owe to you
Each breath I take is by Your grace
My ways, my heart, they yield to Yours
My soul cries out to hear Your voice

You are the source of life and my strength
I need You more and more
You are the reason that I live
I need You more and more

In you I live and move
and have my life
I am sustained, renewed, and loved by You

I need you more
I need you Lord
I need you
I need you.

Only having nine days left until the Deepening gets me very excited. I know God is going to do something amazing in our lives this year. I need Him more and more. I want to be desperate for Him to be in my life.

"God, I love You. I only want You. I need You here. I don't want what You can give me, I just want You, God. I want You to be here with me as I go through this crazy life. I want to go crazy for You, God! You deserve everything that I can give and more. Thank you for loving a simple person like me. Thank you for the blessings You give me. Thank you for the friends and people in my life that help me grow. Thank you for a church that loves students and loves to have us help them. When we could just be sitting at home, doing nothing, they give us a place where we can go and prepare to minister to people that week. Thank you that I get to be a part of the big picture that is You. Thank you for putting me on a worship team that gets to lead people into Your presence each week. I pray that we would go crazy for You and our passion would be out of this world! God, I love You. I need You here with me. My life is only because of Your grace. Lord, I put You first in everything."

Preparing our Hearts

2008-06-03T13:09:00.000-07:00

Currently, I am on my first official fast since I was in C.I.A.! It's not a big thing, but it means something to me and the others joining together.We started last Saturday fasting all music but worship. It's not that I listen to secular or other types of music often, but I do enjoy listening to different varieties and styles of music.

This is something we hope will prepare our hearts more for what God has in store for us this summer at the Deepening. When Jeff Harte asked me and some others to join him for his second year of fasting, I knew I was in. The idea of focusing even the area of all of our music solely on God was just awesome to me. Even while I was just sitting in band class today, listening to a new song we're working on in Reality, it changed my entire day. It just gave me a peace during this last week of school and finals that God is with me and he has a lot planned for me. I am excited to be a part of this wonderful group of people who are going after God more. This is a tradition that I definitely want to continue.

So, Just pray for us all as we give up all other music and pray that God will do something amazing in all of our lives this summer.

Also, be looking forward to seeing me a lot this summer! I hope to be able to come and help as much as I can at First Assembly!

Growing and learning.

2008-03-26T19:55:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's already four months into the year and I'm just now updating!

Lately, I've had maybe some of the most meaningful times I can remember. I've really gotten a chance to learn and connect with new people and grow in skill as well as spirituality.

I've become involved in mew ministry which has brought mew new friends and brought old ones closer. I've also gotten the chance to help and serve here at the church. The people here are great. They are very patient and always willing to help. That alone makes learning and growing easier.

I still want to be more involved.. I want to learn more about what I do. What better way to appreciate and do your ministry better than to learn and keep learning about it, right? I'm not on the tech team, but I've learned how to set light cues and even do easy worship. It's so much fun to know how those things work and I have a great appreciation for people who do it. With the worship team, I do things to take care and better my voice. I help set and tear down the stage, and I hang around people who are leaders in that area. I watch what they do and I even help at times with suggestions if they ask me.

I want to keep my desire to grow. The more you grow, the more you learn. The more you learn, the more you can lead and teach people..and you can't lead where you haven't been yourself. Thanks you to all of you who are leading me and who are growing with me. I could never do it without you guys! A leader never stops growing and I'm not going to.

looking back on 2007. and Thanks

2007-12-30T20:22:00.000-08:00

Life is so WONDERFUL!!
I have great friends and a lot of people there for me. They make me happy and definitely keep me going.I have the most amazing church family and Pastors. You guys don't know how much you mean to me. You lead me and help me and guide me in many ways. To the schools that help me learn, wow!

2007 has been great. I am ready for change and to "transform" into a new person. I am excited about the worship team and feel it's going to be better than ever!!! I am ready to go back to school and greet the place with love, optimism, and kindness. I have grown so much spiritually and in my relationships with others. It's a great feeling to walk into a place where people know how you are and enjoy being around you. They help you grow and grow along with you.
2008? Well, it's going to be a good year I feel. There is so much that I want to accomplish. First off, I need to work on my grades and set my priorities a little. Sure, my grades are A's and B's, but I feel I can do better. It's one of those things where you have to say, "am I going to do this with my whole heart? Or just let it go half-way?" We all have to make these decisions in many parts of life. And I feel I need to move forward in this and with serving more.

I love being involved and being around people. It's hard not being able to drive. I don't get to help with all the opportunities I get, but I manage. I help when and with as much as I can. In about half a year, this problem will be partially solved. I may not be able to go everywhere, but I will get around more with having a hardship. But anyhow..

Thank you for all you people do!I love you all so much!

*Some random worship that has been in my head*
-I know you gave the world your only son for us to know your name and live within the savior's love. You took my place knowing you'd be crucified. Lord you love..you love a people undeserving!
-Because of who you are, I give you glory. Because of who you are, I give you praise. Because of who you are, Lord I lift my hands and say, "Lord I worship you, because of who you are!"
-I'm not going back. I'm moving ahead. I'm here to declare to you, my past is over. In you, old things are made new. Surrendered my life to Christ. I'm moving forward!

I just felt like God should be put into my thanks..he's the one that brought me to you guys and he deserves all the glory anyways..He's unfailing, faithful, loving, merciful, providing..just plain Amazing! :)

worship and words

2007-07-10T07:30:00.000-07:00

Last night,I got to thinking about Thursday when we went without speaking at the Deepening. Breaking our fast with worship, was just unbelievable! You don't really realize how many words we waste until you take the time to be silent. The bible even tells us to use our words for praise in Psalm 33, it says "Good people, cheer God! Right-living people sound best when praising..."

A while back, I read something that really spoke to me and it made me want to be a good person..Don't we all want to be good and righteous?. If I am going to be that person I strive to be, I have to worship. Not going around wasting my words complaining and gossiping or whining. God created us for worship. We should want to worship all the time. Not just in a corporate setting, like at church. Worship is our praise to God for who He is and what He's done and what He's going to do. Both personal and corporate.

Thursday was probably one of the nights I have ever worshiped God with all f my heart and with a great passion. Realizing that, was a little disappointing to me. I should Worship like that all the time. I was so excited to see so many who usually don't worship, cry out to God and hunger for Him. It doesn't matter if we had a bad day, if we don't like that song, or if the person sitting next to us can't sing...THOSE THINGS DON'T MATTER! Worship isn't about us, It's about God! He gave us life and all he asks of us is that we praise him and follow his rules. Wouldn't you want something you breathed life and poured your heart into to praise you? I think it's the least we could do if not more. We should want to praise God. It shouldn't take a retreat to get you to worship.

Another thing I realized is how I try to do things on my own. I was reading in Psalm 121 and 123 about how we should look to God for help.We should lift our eyes to him because our help comes from him; nothing else. He is the all time, undisputed, undefeated champion of love! The song the House wrote really gets that point. It says:

"I thank you

I thank you

For your faithful love

I love you

for your faithful love

I praise you

for your faithful love"

"You've been my father, you've been my friend

You've been there for me,love without end

I don't deserve all the love that you've shown

amazed that you still choose to call me your own

I'm never alone"

God never leaves us alone. He is always and forever will be. He always has been. I long to continue the passion I had from the Deepening, and I still hunger after God even more. God is there when we gather in his name..Don't you want to feel God every time we worship and pray? I loved being in his presence and want to stay there.

Decisions

2007-06-08T11:53:00.000-07:00

There are so many choices in life..so many imporatant decisions to make. The most recent one I faced was which highschool I was going to attend. I had to choose between NLR and Parkview.

My mom, Grandparents, and I went and visited the counselors at both schools. I was really impressed with Pakview. NLR was okay, but I guess the only reason I wanted to go there was because most of my friends are going there or already attend. Not that I am "downing" NLR or anything. I still think it's a great school.

Parkview seemed so boring an strict...not to mention, the building reminds me of a prison..so dark and gloomy.But after walking around, talking to the counselor and band director, I LOVED it!!! It had so much to offer. They had tons of opportunities for scholarships, the counselors and teachers seem very knowledgeable on things that would benefit the students, and all of the students I saw there and have talked to that attend Parkview have loved it. Not to mention the great drama department, choir, and awesome band if I may say so myself!

There are so many requirements, though; Partly because it is a magnet school.. I have to have 4 years of math, English, Science, and Social Studies..It's required for the honors thing the LRSD has for it's students. If you're going to devote four years to bettering yourself by being in school, why not just go the extra mile right? I am also required to take 2 or is it 4 years of German or Latin (I chose Latin. Also, It's required for the science side). The science side is different from the arts. My friends are mostly on the arts and they have and easier schedule..but that's okay. I also learned that I should have taked Algebra1 last school year..so in the 10th, I will have to double up on my math and take Algebra2 and Geometry so I can take Calculus when I'm a senior. They say it will "better prepare" me.

I am looking foward to the new experiences and friends I will make in those 4 years at Parkview..I CAN'T WAIT!!

Last Sunday

2007-04-28T12:54:00.000-07:00

I know it was almost a week ago, but I can't help bet to think back to last Sunday night's worship. I felt it was amazing!

It really helped me strengthen relationship with God and my friends...To me, that is priceless!Being able to be there when your friends need prayer is like saving their life. You are giving them the support they need to keep going on. I know that I would want my friends to be there with me, so I love it when I get to be there with them.

Friends are the strongholds in our lives..without them, we are nothing. I even wrote a poem about friends(I wil post it later).

"God, thank you so much for my friends! You have truly blessed me with people like Heather Wise, Rachel Holland, Drew Richardson, and Mady Capriotti. I thank you so much Lord Jesus. You are worthy of everything I could give and more. Please forgive me for not worshiping you like I should. Forgive me for relying on music and church to bring me into worshiip when I should worship you with every breathe every where I go!"

That service , as you can tell, really pointed out faults in my life. I am currently working on these things. I thank God every day for the support that he gives me with my friends and family I am TRULY BLESSED! i think we all are, some of just don't realize it yet.